she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
