did you get engaged???
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
