Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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