please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize