How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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