I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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