real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
