he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
