i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
