your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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