walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Terrible idea I love it
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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