i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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