hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
