Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
