he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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