We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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