Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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