i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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