After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
