someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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