I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
