a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
