i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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