Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
