I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
