If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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