remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
