I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
