I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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