just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
