party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
