So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize