5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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