she looked like the bat from fern gully.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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