I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
