I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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