i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize