What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
