Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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