I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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