No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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