I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
