He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
