he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
