Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There r osticjed everywhere
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
