your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Randomize
