It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
