no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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