No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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