seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
