Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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