They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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