i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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