I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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