You just made me feel so damn special
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
