What did we do last night that was yellow?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't deserve a penis
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
