Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she peed on how many people?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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