glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
