my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
