I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
