i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
