you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize