An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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