Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
