ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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