return my video game
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize